Death trap

This morning, I went to Ingram Micro Education Centre for a workshop on Brightstor Arcserve Backup for Windows by Computer Associates. While making my way there, my digestion system didn't cooperate and produced a lot of gas. So after arriving at the premises, I raced to the 2nd floor where the reception is, signed in and hunted for the toilet like a madman before I crap in my pants.

I found the toilet sign, navigated a corner at break neck speed and found a door leading to a staircase. I went through the door and saw another opened door...



... which leads to a few compressor on a ledge. So if anyone who is 1/2 asleep and is new here, you could have land yourselves in the hospital cursing and swearing if you are not already dead.

Since I am here complaining about this in my blog, it means I am not dead and yes, unfortunately for you, I am not in the hospital either. The adrenaline rush however, saved me a cup of tea for my morning caffeine boost.

Ladies get your F-Cup here

All the rubbish from the land of the rising sun never failed to amuse me. Now we have the F.Cup cookie !!!

Each box comes with 4 packets of goody goody cookies containing 50mg of fats breast enlarging herb Pueraria Mirifica each. Why insert silicone, dodgy injections or some other weird and dangerous treatment when you can just eat your way to a F cup ?

Edit : Pueraria Mirifica contains phytoestrogens, which is similar to natural estrogen which give women their breasts. Guys, avoid this thing like a plague. Unless you feel like growing your own breasts to molest yourself. Yikes.

Oh did I mention that the fats and calories in the biscuits will not just go to your boobs, it will also balloon your butt, create a large tire around your abdomen and blow up your face as well by the time you get to your desired F cup.

Eh...I pass. I don't need a bigger cup. I need to downsize my spare tire.





Original article from gizomdo.com

And a more scientific view from Plastic Surgery 101

How to die from a heart attack

以型补型，吃脑补脑。(For supplementation, eat food of the same type. Thus to supplement your brain, eat a brain)



However, eating this junk should be classified as attempt suicide. You have to be a real pig to eat this stuff, Pork Brains in milk gravy! (Found on the internet. The Yankees will just eat anything, don't they?)

It's such a no-brainer. Even if you can avoid the fact that mash up brains is so plain gross, you can't missed the nutrition value table labeled on the can.

It screams "Cholesterol 3500mg per serving : 1170% of daily recommended intake"

Kudos to the makers of this suicidal device, they didn't try to hide the fact that it has little nutrition value and is simple a can of salt and cholesterol. By the way, brains are made mostly of cholesterol.

That's the damage for a single serving (per can) ! If you want some blocked arteries really quickly for your insurance claims or wish to go for multiple bypasses for the near-death experience, this is the ticket to do it really fast and furious style.

Any brave soul willing to take a risk and try this yummy looking smudge ?

I am so NOT going to buy this

On 20th July, Friday, I took my sisters for a spin at Vivo city after a hearty meal at Waraku Pasta at Central. What the hell am I doing at Vivo city ?

I am currently working at Harbourfront, so after several months, Vivo city became so damn boring. It didn't help that the fact is, I took leave to go there. To add insult to the injury, I kept getting work related calls in the afternoon. Might as well cancel leave and go back to work. But well, it's a request by my sister, anything goes.

At Giant hypermart, I came across this large water melon that I will not buy for 2 reasons.



1) It's too large (Around 35cm long), I am not going to cart this bad ass home. No way. Too heavy.

2) It cost an amazing $52. I can buy 17 smaller melons with the money. Or better yet, spend it on a nice dinner.

You have to hit me with the water melon till i lose my mind before I buy this monster.

Well Giant have plenty of good deals this week. Large Taiwan mangoes for $2.35 each and Longans at $0.19 per 100 grams.

Quick buy more memory for your computer now !

Enough said. This memory card will turn your computer into a working giant !

These 16Kb RAM card, expandable to 512Kb running at a blazing 4MHz will let you open a tiny text file if you can somehow get it to work for only USD$495 !

For those non-techies, this is a very antiqued advertisement for a memory module for a very old computer, Cromemco Z-1/Z-2.

In comparision against today's computer, 16Kb of memory if an miserable amount. Nowadays, most new computers are equipped with 1GB of memory or more. Just how much is that?

1GB = 1,073,741,824 bytes
16Kb = 16,384 bytes

That's a difference of 65536 times. Woah!

Also it's running at 4MHz. Today's commercially available memory modules runs upwards to 1333MHz. That's 333 times faster !

Why does today's computer uses so much memory? Ask Microsoft !

Boring Singapore MacDonalds ?

While surfing the internet during the wee hours on Saturaday, I came across a site showing some of the special stuff on MacDonald's menu worldwide. Although the Samurai burger and Kiasu burger are not listed, it's still an interesting read.

McDonald's Strange Menu Around The World


India's Big Mac Alternative


Japan's Ebi Fillet-O-Fish ?

And more !! Go read it !

Tall guy meet short guy

Found this article while surfing around...

Worlds apart: The moment the tallest man met the shortest

"While Mr Xishun, 56, towers above everyone at an astonishing 7.9ft, 19-year-old Mr Pingping is a mere 2.4ft high."

Woah, the shorty looks like a toy while the tall guy looks like an alien. I am so glad that I am of "normal" height.

A Saturday out with my sisters

On friday, I psycho my sister successfully to forget about going to work OT for free, and go for the dragonboat practice at Kallang Water Sports Centre organised by MDS instead. Why bother to work extra when the bosses are not around to see ? According to my rules of engagement, this is a no-no situation especially when the work involved is never ending. And so today, instead of working so hard, she went to play hard.



Here is my sisters at Kallang Water Sports Centre. Met Hui Ling and Lay Ting from Power Seraya there too. They had came for the earlier time slot as part of the company sports event. Regina had left an hour earlier, so I missed her. Now I know who are the sporting ones at Power Seraya. 3 ladies and no guys. *cough cough*


At the boarding area, we saw some army guys in #4 doing some kind of rehearsal. There is a yellow balloon attached to each of the boats, possibly part of the national day programme. So watch out for it soon.



My sister is in group 11, with students from Bedok Secondary. Here is the safety and basic theory demonstration on dragon boat operation. Instead of starting at 1.30pm, it dragged and dragged to almost 2.30pm before the fun begins.


Fortunately my sister is not heavy, and I have practice lifting her. I loaded her onto the 4th position from the front of dragon boat faster than any of the other folks from MDS. And the water looks dirty to me. Yikes, I am not going to swim in this.


The fun stops after 1 hour on the dragon boat. Her my sister is holding the paddle for display purposes only. She just sat through the whole thing with the rest of the Bedok Secondary kids. After a quick goodbye, we decided to go Suntec for the rest of the day. We got lucky while trying to hail a cab at Oasis. It was a deserted place to begin with. A cab came from a distance away and saw us waving fanatically at him. Hence we saved $$$ because we did not have to call for a cab.



Found a defibrillator outside the toilet at Suntec Convention Hall. Did someone die of a heart attack to prompt the management to do this ?


Wearing socks with slippers surely look weird on me. Luckily, not for long though.


An exit that goes into another dimension.


A rather cheesy dinner at Pizza Hut. A curry chicken pizza with cheese fondue on top and cheese sticks. Woah sinful ! Along with another Aloha lover pizza, our dinner was settled.

Blaming Microsoft Calculators

While sniffing deals on the auction house in Ironforge (Alliance city in WoW), I was trying to confirm a price with the windows calculator. I punched in the following figures ...

me : 196 divide by 14 [ENTER]
windows calculator : *No response*
me : eh ? [Enter]
windows calculator : *returns result* -->> 1

I am not genius in maths, but 196 divided by 14 is NOT equal to 1. I repeated a few times and got the same result. Convinced that this is a bug in windows calculator, I tried the same calculations on my O2 Atom PDA running windows mobile 2003.

Alas, the same crap turned up.

I guess Microsoft programmers have something against 196 divided by 14. It will not yield the correct result. Don't rely too much on the Windows calculator. Who knows what else is affected.

Edit : I cock lah. 196 divided by 14 is 14 !! Early morning blur-ness.

Merlion on the MRT

A young chap standing next to me merlion-ed (aka puked) while the train was pulling into Ang Mo Kio MRT station. I dodged the stream of brownish liquid and avoided soiling my clothes. Before I can offer my pack of tissue to the merlion, he already managed to took out a pack of his own, with another 2 packs being offered by worried people around him.



Being the typical bor-chap Singaporean, I got off the train and walked passed the station control without informing the SMRT guys that they have a clean up job on their hands.