To many of us, TV is a form of entertainment. Many kids grew up watching day in day out. It's easy to satisfy a kid, just turn on the TV, and woahaha, no more troublesome kid to take care of.
However, there is a dark side to it. In fact, it can ruin lives. I didn't have to look very far to see a living example of that. My youngest sister is a perfect example of a TV addict who grew up learning all the wrong values from TV. The TV is her main source of information which eventually leads her to her very bad position in life.She couldn't tell what is correct or wrong on TV, mindlessly absorbing the foreign values that was burned into the images on the screens without weighing them and getting a skewed picture of life in general.
And behold, the longest dirty laundry washed in this blog's history.
It all started with my lazy parents who didn't want to take care of a crying baby girl when she was a couple of months old. So what my parents did is to show my youngest sister, TV programmes, in particular, advertisements. The addiction was so acute that advertisements were recorded on video tape, and replayed to the amusement of the baby girl.
So it went from advertisements, to power rangers, dramas, Taiwanese variety shows and recently reality TV. The unholy amount of time spent on TV was huge. There is always a price to pay, and she probably has to pay it for the rest of her life.
I am always known to be self-motivating, and can motivate people to progress in their life if I want to make an effort to. However, if a person refuses to admit that there is a problem(s), be willing to do whatever changes necessary to correct the situation and refuses to listen, I will pass. I strongly believe there is no way to help a person who is not willing to help themselves and lying to yourself is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
The American and Japan TV assaulting the younger generation did plenty of damage. My sister grew up with the idea that she is to be respected, and her ego was strong.
It didn't help with my parents who went soft on her, going by the my-child-is-my-friend approach imported wholesale from American culture.
I didn't buy it. My youngest sister is behaving like a brainless brat who didn't know what adulthood means by the age of 20. I told her that because her hearing is impaired in one of her ears, she has to swallow her pride and ask people to repeat themselves if she cannot catch our words. But due to her proud nature, instead of doing so, she will end up misunderstanding the entire conversation. She turned defensive and ended up offending everyone who is trying to help her. It didn't help with her poor general knowledge and bad decision making skills. She cannot hold a conversation at a reasonable level, looking like a complete fool in my eyes.
Of course she will hate me every time when I grilled her thoroughly after getting my statements verified with referees in the conversation. Her loose mouth will get her into trouble sooner or later, and her attitude it really terrible. What makes it worse is that she demands respect for who knows what.
I am so sorry. I am not a person who will give you respect because you demand it. You have to earn it. Last week, we had a big row when she tried avoid the question of what she is doing, what had she done so far and what is her plan for the future. It went on to a point where she complained that I have never respected her before. She accused me of bullying her and never thought about her feelings.
So I shot back at her.
Respect ? Yes I can respect you. But over what? What do you have that I can respect you for ? Can you name something ? Anything at all?
I knew she can't give me an answer. Because she has nothing to be proud of. No hard work, no achievements, no goals in life. In short, her ego was built on rapidly cooling hot air. It's sinking faster than the Titanic.
Then I went on saying that I shoot down her so-called ideals because they were based on faulty logic, and cannot be justified. Her limited general knowledge gives her a narrow view of situations and the whole big picture is completely lost. If an ideal make sense, and the merits out weighs the cost, I will never have to shoot them down.
If you are going to make a bad decision that will affect me, I will overwrite the decision no matter what it takes. My eldest sister is a complete contrast to my youngest. I do make bad calls, and I am very happy that my eldest sister can point them out to me.
Complaining that people is bullying you is childish. If you can stand your ground and fight with you abilities, you will realise that there is no such thing as bullying. It's your inability that is the cause of your problem. This fact doesn't change from childhood to adulthood. If I were to impose bullying tactics, she would have already been forced into a corner, broken.
That's the same thing with feelings. She kept saying that no one understands her and no one cares about her feelings. Come on, this is not a soap drama. This is real life. Nobody, saved for your significant other will bother about how you feel. Complaining that the whole world wronged you, misunderstood you and don't care about you is so childish. The world doesn't owe you a living, blaming others for your own failures is so damn lame and the failure to realise that your very existence is your chance to make good of your own life is so silly.
Having watched too much dramas, she started saying that this is her own life and she makes the decisions. Again, I shot back at her. Not friendly words, and certainly very bitter medicine. Yes she can make your own decisions, so long she can make good decisions on her own. But face it, she can't. Look at the state of her life. I call it a failure. Those guys screaming freedom in US at the age of 18 are living on their own outside their family. Here she is in a typical Asian family shouting freedom when she didn't have the means to. What a corny joke. Can't she see the difference?
Does she have a plan for her own future? A 1 year plan? 5 years? 10 years? Or do I have to tell her my predictions? It's seldom wrong, and it hits home so many times. At the rate she goes, she probably makes some terrible irreversible mistake that will ruin her life forever. I told her to forget bio-tech. It's not for her. The industry is not ready. The government makes it sounds too good to be true. Unlike the IT industy promoted previously, this is a highly specialised industry. Every firm can use an IT department but there is no use for a bio-tech department.
This means that good jobs are highly prized and hard to get. An ITE cert will not cut it. She is not degree material and she didn't even manage to get into a diploma programme of the field. And now, even a degree holder struggles not to be a salesman for some test kit. I don't see a future. I see a grim reality. I told her to switch to engineering instead but she refused. Now she had rotted for the 3rd month at home, refusing to look for work or studies.
She claimed she is under depression and thus, didn't look for jobs so far. But she didn't fit the description of a person under depression. She isn't certified to be a patient thus not under any treatment for it. From the looks of things, she is just slacking with a lousy excuse. I have seen how depressed people looked like, and this is certainly not.
How bad is bad? How about not putting effort to look for jobs at all? For 3 whole months, no resume was ever sent. And her last updated resume was 1 month old on a CDROM. She didn't know how and didn't want to be told how to. Sure, do let me know when ego can be eaten to fill my stomach. Atrocious. Appalling.
She is officially an embarrassment to me now. Every time someone asks me about my 2 sisters, I have nothing good to say about my youngest sister. Her poor working attitude, lack of commitment, interest and drive is seriously horrible. She can't do her chores nor a job without screwing things up. Give her a chance for more rewards and she will just waste it all. When things are given to her, she takes it as a entitlement and start being a ingrate not too soon after.
Even if there is a job opening, I will not bother to let her know about it. She probably screws it up and tarnish my reputation. My friends offered to teach her about real estate, but she let it slide. My other friends' siblings of the same age also didn't make a good start, but they made listened and went on to the right direction.
I tried talking to my parents many times over the years. But they paid only lip service. But hey, I have nothing to lose. Why should I even bother? Why am I more worried than my youngest sister or my parents? I told my parents that if I am going to bring her back to her senses, I will be taking over their role as her parents. And if that is to happen, they are not to interfere any further. Every time I says this, they will come up with more sorry excuses and leave the conversations. I do not understand why I must put in so much effort for negative returns.
Hey, I got better things to do than to waste my time on a useless loser. So there. Don't blame me. Ever. And yes. I blame the TV and lousy parenting for doing the damage to my sister.
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