For those who didn't read the long
Walking out of the board room after solving a projection problem, I was intrigued when the all too familiar engineer 'S' tried to get hold of me. I knew it would be a blast working with these awe-inspiring guys again, haven't not seen them for a month or two.
We got to the dot matrix printer again, and engineer 'S' showed me that there was something wrong with the printer. It was months after the problem was reported and the problem is still hanging in the air. They claimed that the printer settings couldn't be saved and the network printer settings couldn't be found for the printer. The printer is also different from the setup guide they had with them. The setup guide is the sort that is haphazardly compiled with a load of screenshots made be a lowly paid general clerk with a few barely sensible pieces of English text sticking in-between them, printed on what looks like toilet paper, in full colour.
Guess, what. The two experts are so highly experienced that they couldn't tell that the printer in the setup guide is a laser printer and the one that they were setting up is a dot-matrix printer. And when they finally figured that out when I pointed out the difference, I told them that they were wasting time arguing about the difference of the printer type because the type of printer being setup here doesn't matter at all. For all the normal people out in the streets, so long you can read and follow instructions, preferably applying a IQ of at least 80, all will end well. It's like arguing that a Sony Playstation will not work because you are not using a Sony TV. The two awesome guys took a hint and shut up for good. I guessed that they saw enough of my annoyed and amused face rolled into one for more than a occasion already.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DON'T FOLLOW A SETUP GUIDE BLINDLY !!! USE YOUR BRAIN IF YOU STILL GOT ONE !!!
They earned the next scornful reply from me when they told me that they couldn't change the network portion of the printer's settings. It's not like the first time I told them this. We went through this before, and their memory had failed them miserably. I wonder how they couldn't learn from their previous mistake, like what a baby do.
OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES ! DAMN IT !
With their obvious lack of basic knowledge of networking and Windows, they didn't know how to tell if a printer is a network or a local printer in Windows. I could not forgive them that they failed to see that the printer is attached via a parallel printer cable, not a UTP Ethernet cable. Morever, I have yet to seen a network capable dot matrix printer before, unless in conjunction with a print server. A parallel port printer cable and a UTP cable has completely different connectors on both ends and different thickness in the cable for your information. Has these 2 guys ever installed a printer before ? Which self-respecting IT professional didn't ?
Next they showed me how they couldn't save the customised paper settings for the printer. First, engineer 'S' selected a paper profile, and complained that the "save" button is greyed out. I took a look, and figured out that the paper profile is not editable by design, thus that the "save" button is greyed out.
Next they key in the new paper profile and pressed the "save" button. The profile details disappeared and they claimed that it could not be saved because it, eh...had disappeared into the thin air. It didn't strike them that the profile was already save and all they need to do is to select it from the profile list to see it again. The controls were cleared because the system is waiting for the user to enter another set of new paper profile.
I demonstrated all that and the two IT professionals stood there rooted in silence. It took engineer 'S' a moment to collect his voice and said that he didn't know how this works. This was unacceptable as they are professional software engineers themselves working in a big local company, and they should have seen more user interface designs than I have.
Before he could splutter anymore nonsense, I cut he off rudely in mid-sentence, on purpose of course, saying that I didn't knew anything before hand either. I am so tired of his nonsense and sorry excuses already, and I didn't have the patience to listen to another worthless speech. It took me less than a minute to figure things out and worked the system, not hours. Sarcastically, I asked them if they need any more help before storming off, shaking my head in complete dismay.
If these two sad losers can be IT professionals, they must have bought their certifications from some unknown university with no webpage and falsified their working experience by blindly copying someone else's resume. Or the other possibility is that they somehow earned their living through lies and deceit, somehow getting through day after day. Maybe IT really isn't their cup of tea, so they should help out by offering their positions to some other people who are more attuned to the IT. This is exactly the type of people who gave IT professionals a bad name. Hard working engineers like me have to suffer bad vibes and shame brought on by these leeches of the IT industry. How sad !
(By the way, you can buy your degree and certificates.
Here is my take on engineer 'S'
Technical skill - 4/10 - Some how managed to performing an amazing feat by completing the SAP project without showing that he knew how it works at all. A complete SAP noob like me is able to tell him how a function works by observing the input and output while he couldn't figure it out for weeks and months.
IT Knowledge - 0/10 - Has as much IT knowledge as the dead cat on the streets. Did not demonstrate knowledge on the most common OS, MS-Windows or common hardware like a printer.
Internal PR skill - 0/10 - Lost credibility very quickly due to obvious incompetence. Project manager 1 quit prematurely and his replacement shunned the project as early as possible.
External PR skill - 0/10 - End users and project managers completely lost faith in his ability to deliver anything usable within a reasonable time frame, if they are expecting any at all.
Final score
10 / 100
Quick ! Employ this guy to get your SAP project signed off earlier because the customer will just sign the handover form as fast as possible just because they want to get rid of him for wasting their youth ASAP !!! Just be prepared to see a letter suing you for liquidated damage soon though.
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