Most badly executed promotion ever- Part II

The half-hearted HP compromise

(Last Updated 13th Feb 2007)

DO NOT COPY OR QUOTE ME ON THIS. IF YOU ARE AFFECTED, PLEASE USE YOUR OWN WORDS AND WRITE YOUR OWN COMPLAIN EMAIL !

It has become necessary to break this topic up. The longest ever complain blog entry has came to round II. On 8th Feb, I received a reply from HP that is as followed :

Dear Foong Jia Khang

Thank you for your email of 5 February 2007.

There was an inadvertent mistake to the advertisement as we have
earlier clarified. (I didn't receive any clarification until I complain)There was no available HP Centrino notebook with the same specifications as the one provided under this promotion. (This is an outright lie. HP/Compaq laptops are individually customisable. You can order a laptop with your own specifications here. The truth is that they customised the laptops to use the Broadcom wireless chipset instead as you can see that under Networking, they offer only 1 option : Intel(R) PRO/Wireless 3945ABG, and removed the bluetooth module. Why? Cost cutting obviously.)

As a goodwill gesture, we are pleased to offer you a nine-month
warranty extension for your notebook. This carry-in warranty is worth
$99.00, and covers all parts of the notebook excluding batteries and
accessories.

This goodwill offer is valid for a period of 10 days from the date of
this email. Please indicate your acceptance of this goodwill offer by
signing below and returning us this email by fax at 6725 1603 or by
post to 2D Ayer Rajah Crescent AOS Building Singapore 139938,
StarHub-Customer Affairs by 18 February 2007. Otherwise, this
goodwill offer shall lapse without further notice and be no longer
capable of acceptance. (Take notice the 10 days limitation for later)

You will receive an acknowledgement letter from HP for the warranty
extension after you have accepted this goodwill offer. Please note
that the warranty extension will take effect about two weeks after we
have received your reply. (Take notice the 2 weeks needed for updating)

We thank you for your patience and support.

Best regards

Vianny Tjen
Customer Affairs

____________________________

I, , NRIC No. _______________________, accept this
goodwill offer for the notebook as a full and final settlement of
this matter.

(Here is the essense of the email. They wanted this to be "a full and final settlement of the matter". They wanted this to indemnify them from further actions from me)

__________________
Name:
Date:

Best regards

Vianny Tjen
Customer Affairs

",1] ); D(["mb","

____________________________

I, , NRIC No. _______________________, accept this
goodwill offer for the notebook as a full and final settlement of
this matter.



__________________
Name:
Date:

",1] ); D(["mb","

Incoming E-Mail from Foong Jia Khang

",1] ); D(["mb","

Subject: Re: Feedback on MaxOnline Promotion - Customer No. 71556710
To: customerservice@starhub.com <customerservice@starhub.com>

",1] ); D(["mb","

From: Foong Jia Khang <jiakhang@gmail.com>
CC:

",1] ); D(["mb","

Received on: 05/02/2007 11:40:32 AM

",1] ); Sounds friendly at the first sight? I didn't fax this back immediately because I wanted to observe the situation. Not too long afterwards, I received a letter by snail mail with the following content on Monday, 12th Feb :

Dear Jia Khang,

9-Months Warranty Extension

Thank you for your support.

We confirm that the warranty for the Compaq Presario notebook, redeemed from StarHub's MaxOnline Year-End Promotion, has been extended by a further (9) months carry-in service. The original warranty will take effect from the date of your notebook collection. The extended warranty will take effect from the end of the original warranty period.

If you have questions regarding your HP equipment, please call our HP Customer Care hotline at (+65) 6272 5300 (select option 4 followed by 1). Our highly trained service technicians will be glad to assist you. Alternatively,, you can visit our support website at www.hp.com/support

Thank you, once again for choosing us and we welcome you to the world community of Hewlett-Packard. For more information, you can visit our website at www.hp.com.sg

Yours sincerely

Hewlett-Packard

Note: This is a computer-generated letter, no signature is required.
Please retain this acknowledgment letter and bring it together with your redemption letter for servicing.

Please allow 21 working days for your warranty extension to be updated in our systems.

Sounds good ? No ! Instead of waiting for my fax or snail mail to confirm the settlement, they are forcing it down my throat now. They didn't want to wait for the indemnity fax/letter, they simply assume that me to take it as it is. Not that I mind, but if you read the wordings carefully, this is a badly worded letter. Why so? Here is the nit-picking part.

"The extended warranty will take effect from the end of the original warranty period."

The problem lies in the definition of "original warranty period". The original warranty period can be interpreted in several ways :

1. 3 months + 9 months = 1 year
   Valid for those who opt for the V3131TU Core Duo notebook, assuming "original warranty" is as stated by Starhub advertisement, barring any more "inadvertent mistake".
2. 1 year + 9 months = 1 year 9 months
   Valid for those who opt for the V3135TU Core Duo and V3136TU Core 2 Duo notebooks, assuming "original warranty" is as stated by Starhub advertisement, barring any more "inadvertent mistake".
3. 1 year + 2 years + 9 months = 3 years and 9 months
   Valid for those who bought any of the laptops, bought the extended warranty (HP carepack) and the 9 months extension warranty can extend beyond the 3 years carepack.
4. 1 year + 2 years + 9 months = 3 years
   Valid for those who bought any of the laptops, bought the extended warranty (HP carepack) and the 9 months extension warranty CANNOT extend beyond the 3 years carepack.

Scenario 4 is the one I am most afraid of. Especially in the light that the fine print at the end of the letter reads :

"Please retain this acknowledgment letter and bring it together with your redemption letter for servicing."

Bare in mind that a HP carepack can only extend a warranty period to a maximum of 3 years when purchased within 3 months of the system purchase, this can mean that the warranty extension may not be official or not enforceable. The warranty period they will recongise worldwide is as stated in HP warranty check. If this is not reflected in the warranty check, it's a worthless promise. They can simply claim that their system does not show the extended warranty period, and hence, they are not going to give you anything!

In short, for those who bought the 3 years carepack, the 9 months free warranty out of "goodwill" may not be getting anything at all. In the telephone conversation with Jess Yong from HP, I have stated clearly my concern regarding the warranty period. She confirmed the fact that it will be 3 years and 9 months. Wow, that will certainly break tradition and rules. Meanwhile, I will be checking my warranty to see if it's going to be 3 years and 9 months for the next 3 weeks.

Update 12/1/2006 : The warranty will be based on a letter sent to us. Crappy.

Most badly executed promotion ever- Part I

(Last Updated 6th Feb 2007)

DO NOT COPY OR QUOTE ME ON THIS. IF YOU ARE AFFECTED, PLEASE USE YOUR OWN WORDS AND WRITE YOUR OWN COMPLAIN EMAIL !

It's very unlikely any of our major ISP will ever give us a deal with involves free laptops for the upcoming months. For those who didn't know, Starhub blew it big time in their recent promotion last year at Sitex 2006. Without further ado, here is the beef.

Names have not been censored to protect the guilty, but my privacy is protected :)

This is a on-going drama unfolding. This entry will be updated whenever there is a fresh development.

My first email to Starhub / HP

Incoming E-Mail from Foong Jia Khang
Subject: Starhub/HP Centrino promotional notebook fiasco
To: customerservice@starhub.com,starhub.helpline@hp.com
From: Foong Jia Khang
CC:
Received on: 01/02/2007 3:24:51 PM

To whom it may concern,

I have signed my re-contract at Sitex on 2nd Nov 2006 and was told that my re-contract application will be processed in 7 days. It was 2 weeks after the show (approx 15th Dec 2006) before someone from starhub called me to confirm my re-contract. I told that I should be getting my notebook within a month from the confirmation of the re-contract.

By right, my new contract should start on the day that is was signed, or at very least, within the 7 days frame as verbally told to me by the Starhub Staff at Sitex. Instead, it starts from 12 December, meaning I have to incur addition charges as my new contract have a 10% discount for the re-contract. This also means my contract starts
later, and therefore, ends later. This also adds a delay to my notebook collection as HP takes a month to process my order AFTER Starhub confirmed my re-contract. My last re-contract and contract at Singtel was effective on the day of signing, why is Starhub so different? I congratulate Starhub for having a overwhelming response
for this promotion, but post dating, stretching the contract, the resulted additional billing and delayed delivery of the laptop irks me.

The Starhub staff who called me to confirm my recontact told me to wait for HP to call me for the laptop itself. The wait stretched on and on and I waited patiently until I have to call up Starhub at the end of the second week of January when everyone else already got their notebooks. To my horror, no one can give me a date when anyone from Starhub or HP will call me. My new contract has been running since 12 Dec, and one month later, no one from HP or Starhub called me. Does this indicate that my order wasn't processed at all, and didn't reach HP after 8 weeks after the show? My friends in the same queue in front and behind me have already received their laptops. That goes for the same for my friends who signed up before and after Sitex. Why am I the only one delayed so badly?

Regrettably, I have to resort to calling up your helpline again to demand HP to get back to me to confirm my notebook order. HP did so in a week, and confirmed my order. After the call from HP, I was able to pick up my notebook from Richland within the following week at 29 Jan.

The laptop I ordered was a Compaq V3136TU. It was a upgrade from a Compaq V3131 which was advertised as a Intel Centrino Duo Core laptop. The upgrade specifications was clearly for the additional ram, DVD writer, CPU and extended warranty. But the V3136TU is not a Centrino laptop, which is not mention anywhere when I re-contract, or during the calls from Starhub or HP. I paid the highest premium for the upgrades and instead, receive a DOWNGRADE without warning. This is a breach of contract, as the goods delivered is not as advertised. This is totally unacceptable. I waited 2 months for this, which could have been much longer if I had not been persistent, and finally received the wrong laptop.

I am well aware that there is a price premium for Centrino laptops, which is the reason why the Starhub offer is attractive in the first place, By changing to a non-Centrino Laptop without prior notice, this is a really a unethical move to cut cost. Please do NOT try to tell methat the Intel wireless chipset is not important, or it has the same functionality as the Broadcom wireless chipset. I am a IT professional and this is an obvious case of short-changing if it is not a
mistake. If this is a mistake, is there going to be a recall ?

This promotion appeared as the best from Starhub initially, but is now
the worst experience so far. There were no notification for the numerous delays nor things was carried out the way that it could have been done. I am very disappointed at the handling of the promotion which is filled with frustration. This is compounded by the fact that I actually recommended this promotion among my friends, and several of them did signed up, only to encounter the same inconvenience and bad
experience as I did.

I wish to be contacted about these issues as soon as possible.

With disappointment and anger,

Foong Jia Khang
Customer No : CENSORED
HP order : CENSORED
Mobile : CENSORED

Starhub's Reply (Standard template reply obviously)

	date			Feb 2, 2007 2:05 PM
	subject			Feedback on MaxOnline Promotion - Customer No. CENSORED
	mailed-by			starhub.com

Dear Foong Jia Khang

Thank you for your email of 1 February 2007.

Due to overwhelming response from our customers, there has been a
delay in delivering the HP premium. We sincerely apologise for the
inconvenience it caused you. We assure you that we have been working
with HP closely and allocating all of our resources to maximise
efficiency and minimise your waiting time.

We would like to inform you that there was a communication error on
the branding of the Intel Core Duo Mobile Technology in the
advertising materials pertaining to this promotion. It was an error
leading to the inclusion of the Centrino name and logo in the
technical specifications of the notebooks. The original text should
have read 'Intel Core Duo Mobile Technology' instead of 'Intel
Centrino Duo Mobile Technology'.

HP and StarHub would like to apologise for the error. However, please
rest assured that the notebook that you are receiving will have the
same functionality, and that all other details mentioned in the
promotions were correct.

In addition, the specifications of the notebook that were
communicated clearly on the order confirmation page where the
customer confirmed his/her order contained accurate information of
the notebook specifications from the start of the promotion.

We will take note and share your valuable feedback with the relevant
departments for their consideration to improve in this area.

If you have any questions, please email to this address or fax in to
6725 1603.


Best regards

Vianny Tjen

Customer Affairs

My second email to Starhub / HP

Feb 5, 2007 11:37 AM

Re: Feedback on MaxOnline Promotion - Customer No. 71556710

Starhub is a well known name in the IT / Communication industry, and it's hard to believe such a mistake could have occurred. There is a clear distinction for a notebook with a notebook with Centrino technology and the Centrino name and logo were used in the advertisement. For the reason that you are offering a Centrino Core 2 Duo notebook, I took the offer instead of Singtel's Sony LCD. Even if there is a communication error, this is ridiculous.

> HP and StarHub would like to apologise for the error. However, please
> rest assured that the notebook that you are receiving will have the
> same functionality, and that all other details mentioned in the
> promotions were correct.
I assume that the reply to my initial email was a template reply. And the person who forwarded me the template reply did not read the content of my email.

Therefore, I shall repeat myself again

I am well aware that there is a price premium for Centrino laptops, which is the reason why the Starhub offer is attractive in the first place, By changing to a non-Centrino Laptop without prior notice, this is a really a unethical move to cut cost. Please do NOT try to tell me that the Intel wireless chipset is not important, or it has the same functionality as the Broadcom wireless chipset. I am a IT professional and this is an obvious case of short-changing if it is not a mistake. If this is a mistake, is there going to be a recall ?

I paid a premium for the laptop and I expect to get what I have paid for. If you deem "have the same functionality" as the reasoning, you might as well send Celeron and AMD laptops to me. They all have the same functionality.

> In addition, the specifications of the notebook that were
> communicated clearly on the order confirmation page where the
> customer confirmed his/her order contained accurate information of
> the notebook specifications from the start of the promotion.
There is no such order confirmation page. A HP staff called me, took my order and confirmed my order via email, which contains the following:

1.0	Upg 2; NB V3136TU (RL377PA); SH GO SITEX
1.1	RL377PA Compaq Presario V3136TU NB PC
1.2	RV673PA HP SCV Nov 06 NB Offer
1.3	RZ380PA SCV SITEX $150 Discount Voucher
1.4	U4819E Pick Up & Return, HW Support, 3 year (Consumer)

It makes no mention that this is NOT a centrino notebook. It merely states the model, no specifications at all. It is only natural to assume that the notebook I will get is as advertised when I signed up. No one from Starhub or HP had notified me on this, nor I was told during my 5 calls with Starhub and 2 calls with HP. Therefore, I am not informed of the problem before and after the purchase, and found out on my own after I have received the laptop.

A apology and a excuse like this is NOT acceptable. Not only the laptop is late by twice the time stated during the promotion (and more if I didn't call in), it's the wrong model as well.

With disappointment and anger,

Foong Jia Khang
Customer No : CENSORED
HP order : CENSORED
Mobile : CENSORED

----------------------------

Phonecall from HP

6th Feb 2007 - 10.08 am

Jess Yong from HP called up on my mobile. First she tried to smoke me by saying that the $329 upgrade option means upgrading to a "Intel Core 2 Duo" laptop. She asked me if I have the advertisement with me for the promotion. This is an obvious act to smoke people. Most people will not have the advertisement with them, allowing her to say anything in her favor. Luckily, I have a scan of the promotional material which I can bring up in seconds. I quickly refute her by stating that that only refers to the processor. Centrino is a 3-part package. I paid $329 to upgrade the CPU, RAM, DVD Burner, OS and Warranty. The "Intel Core 2 Duo" is an upgrade for the processor. Since the original specifications denotes it as a Centrino laptop, it should stay as a Centrino laptop after upgrading as it didn't states that it will be changed to a non-Centrino laptop because of a change in the wireless chipset. There is no where in the material that says otherwise. It makes no sense to paid for the upgrades and get a downgrade. I must repeat, that this is another unethical tactic to pass the buck rather than admitting it. Imagine those poor people who did not have the advertising material anymore. She will insist that the $329 upgade actually means downgrading to a non-Centrino while upgrading the rest of the notebook. Such nonsense.

For those who didn't know what's a Centrino, apart that Intel kept pushing the magic word into your skull. It means the following must be present to qualify :

1. Intel mobile processor
2. Intel mobile wireless chipset
3. Intel mobile motherboard chipset

The dispute arises when Starhub promoted the offer as Centrino laptops. But they gave us a non-Centrino laptop instead by substituting the Intel mobile wireless chipset with a 3rd part Broadcom wireless chipset instead. Probably a cost saving move, and undetectable to non computer savvy folks. No, they are not getting away with this. No way.

I told her that something has to be done about this, so she offered me 2 options :

1. Canceled the subscription to Starhub and return the notebook
2. Get a free 9 months warranty from HP

Being the evil bastard, I asked her if HP will pick up the notebook if I choose to cancel. Why is this evil you might wonder? This will be a nightmare on her end. I will make them refund my payments to HP, ask them to pickup the notebook from me, cancel my subscription to Starhub and blow up the case. Further more, it does me no good to cancel the subscription now as I have already paid for 1 month on the new subscription and I have already missed the Singtel LCD offer. Certainly, they are not going to refund me the subscription.

She didn't want to continue to smoke me on the technical grounds, so she went on to her second line of defense. She kept insisting that there was a mistake on the advertisement and the laptop is nice and functional. It looks great and such blah blah blah obviously trying hard to me to agree to keep the notebook.

At this point of time, I was already angry at her attempts to smoke me. So I proceed to tell her that even if what she said is true, I didn't care. I paid a premium for a Centrino notebook, and insist that I should get one even if there is truly a mistake. If I were to cancel the subscription, are they going to give me Singtel's LCD offer ? (Obviously trying to make her life hard here since it's not possible to)

Then I let up and asked if it's possible to refund me my 2 years HP carepack instead and give me the 9 months warranty, hence netting a 1 year and 9 months warranty with $219 cash back. She said no, which is quite expected since it will create problems with their systems. It's hard to get a refund. Therefore I asked if the 9 months warranty can be stacked on top of my 3 years warranty.

<15>

Yes. It can be done she replied. So I will have to send her my notebooks serial number to update the warranty period. So we came to the end of our conversation. Seriously, I don't mind an addition 9 months extension of the warranty to the notebook. A notebook doesn't last so long nowadays and get worse with age. Such a long warranty will certainly safe guard the future of the notebook.

I don't like to stress people over the phone like this but they insist in covering up and smoking me, I am not going to tolerate this nonsense. I have to be a nasty customer in order to get what they are suppose to give me in the first place.

I will just say that Starhub / HP screwed up big time in this promotion.

I will be making sure that I actually getting 3 years and 9 months of warranty before I end this post. I really doubt that it can be done since the max duration of a carepack I know is 3 years.

Currently, my warranty stands at 3 years. Let's see.

And meanwhile, the saga continues...

Additional reading material :

1. How to get the extra 9 mths warrenty from SH? (Hardwarezone)
2. MOL Promo (Hardwarezone)
3. ZDnetasia News article

Resources

1. HP warranty check

Terrible translations

What do you get when a Ang Mo runs through China and Taiwan ? He went to China and Taiwan and found many really terribly translation words. It's bad that it made my tears flow ... from laughter while reading his site. While ordering his meals, he found some gems hidden in the menu like ...

各式油菜 = Every form rape
烧春鸡 = Burn the spring chicken
家乡一品锅 = 1 article pot : home town

He called it Manglish. It's sure to make you really hungry after laughing so hard. His site also contains articles on his experience there. Quite interesting to read how things looked to a foreigner.

Check this link out ! Very entertaining.

Meanwhile, back to WoW exp grinding.

当了一个晚上的跟班. Stalking a journalist

Breaking tradition, instead of laughing at the people on 10 o'clock news, I went to the new year 2007 countdown at Esplanade to join in the super big crowd of 160,000 waiting to catch the fireworks display at midnight. In additional, I get the unique chance to see how news is being recorded.

It was meant to be a gathering for my TPGS friends but things fell apart as the hours approached. So in the end, everybody except Cuiyan put aeroplane for various reasons. Well, she had to be there for the entire duration as she had to do a 2000 words write-up on the merry making event at Esplanade. Hey not bad leh, where else can i land myself a job which let me report for work at 5pm at SPH, go over at over New Year 2007 countdown @ esplanade and all these counts as a working day ? Think of the hours you can pig before reporting to work. *drooling*

The standing order of the night was :

1. Watch the whole thing
2. Interview a couple, not necessarily male-female
3. Interview a angmo, someone who is from far far away
4. Interview a group of friends
5. Interview a family
6. Watch the aftermath

Anyway, after a 点心 dinner at It's Dimsum resturant at Marina Square (food is not bad), we caught the first round of fireworks blasting from the NTUC towers rooftop at 10pm. It was quite nice but was sadly, incredibly short. The whole thing went for 2 mins tops. Joy quickly turned into disappointment. Everyone's reaction was like, WTF, that's all ???!?!?!

That's right folks, just right under 2 mins of kaboom. The next 2 fireworks displays were just as short. In-between the 2nd and 3rd display, heaven was just as pissed off. So we got drenched in short order. Everyone tried to get into the nearest shelter at the Esplanade but expectingly, it's already jammed packed with people. Fortunately, heaven didn't have a full bladder that night. The rain subsided as quickly as it came and left the night cooler than before.

The countdown didn't actually happened. There wasn't any countdown to be heard from the organisers and so the festive feeling was missing. The year 2007 started with spectacular fireworks, blowing tens of thousands of dollars with every bang. The background music was missing though. Basically the fireworks display was similar to the national day 2006 version, with an new addition which looks suspiciously like signal flares. Despite the shortcomings, the crowd clearly enjoyed the show. The finale lit up the entire sky in dazzling golden shower. I really wonder how much did they blew up this time round.

After the fireworks, as we waited for our pre-booked cab, we took a break at 2Hot cafe at Esplanade. The aftermath of the event was a badly littered park. As Cuiyan went off interviewing the cleanup supervisor, I sat back at the sight before me. As half a dozen cleaners cleaned up the grass field before me, people kept throwing more rubbish onto the ground. A lazy restaurant employee conveniently pushed out rubbish from the restaurant premises onto the grass field. 好顺便阿! 干得好!

Oh by the way, what are the chances that you meet 2 out of 3 groups of 早报 photographers in the huge crowd of 160,000 ? We did. Wow. Must buy ToTo this Thursday.

Also watch out for lurkers around every corner for nig brother is everywhere. The next time when venturing outside your home, it's best to watch your tongue and put on your best behavior . You never know when a media photographer and journalist will sneak next to you and ask you for an interview. A journalist can decide to write something about what you have done and they don't walk around with a sign board screaming their occupation. They are like everyone else. Scary bor? From my observation, there is a 100% snaring rate. Everyone approached by Cuiyan agreed to be interviewed. The only concern was from a local family who didn't want to have faces on the next day's papers.

Being a journalist have it's bright side too. Most people have this fear or maybe even hatred towards strangers who approached them on the street. Approach anyone and identify yourself as a journalist, and they eventually help you with your job. I shall name this behavior trait as the anti-credit cards / anti-salesman / anti-insurance reaction. The reaction is always the same, the skeptical look, the attempts at evading even before the start of the conversation and the stunning relief that it's not another salesman. Maybe she needs some "preventive measures". I believe that by not taking out a little notepad and pen before approaching the target victim interviewee, people will not run away so much. If you must make a difference between yourself and some other salesman, this has to be it. Salesman approaching you from the street with a notebook ? Shooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!Go away... Gooo !!

Singapore Offline

Most of us probably didn't know that a earthquake that registered 7.6 on the Richter scale struck Taiwan on Tuesday 1.47am. We probably wouldn't care until we notice that nothing that requires internet access seems to work anymore. So in the morning, as a unsuspecting Singapore wakes up to the new reality, shrieks of horror and confusion echoed through the island when the dread PAGE NOT FOUND errors flooded every monitor screen on the island.

6 of the big fat pipes used by our Internet Service Providers were not operational. The earthquake didn't just shake and destroyed southern Taiwan. It went about breaking the optical fibers in several places laid around the sea near Taiwan. Apparently, nobody noticed this right after the earthquake because we were busy snoring away. Then came office working hours. At 8am, the Internet feels sluggish. By 9am, it was so bad that international Internet access gave up the ghost and responded with timeouts instead of our cherished World Wide Web. The demand for bandwidth caused the remaining surviving optical cables to buck under the heavy load.

Then the great Singapore Offline begins. Everything powered by the Internet twisted got out of shape, gave a long whine and finally drop dead altogether. Our reliance on the Internet was apparent in moments. Even the most resilient email timed out and got lost in cyberspace.

"Foong ! My MSN and yahoo doesn't work...how come ah ?"
"Reuters cannot update ..."
"Is Internet down ? When will it be up ?"
"Why no email ? Cannot be that I don't get emails leh"

IP phones dropped dead. Emails got lost in time outs. WWW yielded "PAGE NOT FOUND". Pushmail devices fell quiet. Traders couldn't submit their bids nor check the market status. MMORPGs players couldn't kill anything online. Youtubers couldn't get their fix. And the list went on. The digital silence was maddening.

The consolation prize is that locally hosted sites were still available. Unfortunately, our Singaporean content on the Internet is a measly tiny but compared Singapore and Japan.
Oh well, just cross your fingers that this doesn't happen too often.

The growing up, and the growing old

The growing up, and the growing old

The inevitable change in my family is here, and will be here for good. I feel that I can no longer trust my parents' ability to make decisions for our family or even themselves. As the years makes its relentless toll on all of us, I started to lost faith in their judgment, decision and problem solving skills.

• Insufficient information input from sound channels
  Lousy friends, hearsay, market aunties and uncles, misinformation, misleading/misunderstanding reports from media -> Bad information sources. Their sources are frequently as good as they are. The /ignore + /kickban type. Cannot withstand further scrutiny.
• Poor logic flow, faulty reasoning
  If you draw a flow chat, things don't connect, breakage everywhere, infinite loops and all hell break loose. Being trained as a programmer, it's easy for me to see deadends and loops.
• Inconsistency
  Double/Triple standards, moving goal posts, changing their facts and statements to fit the situation.
• Reliance on guts feeling instead cold hard facts
  To me, it's as good as random generator. Will you choose a monkey to drive a school bus packed with overgrown gorillas ?
  
• Refusing to believe that they can be wrong
  Finding it hard to admit mistakes, intolerant to the fact that the kids are pointing out their flaws
• Leaving things to fate
  Certainly not my style. Being passive will rather you a punch bag, a magnetic dart board and most importantly, nobody will respect you and just have their way with you
• Meek, fear of authority, afraid of trouble
  Their lack of education leads them here. Their lack of proficiency in the English language makes everything impossible to understand for them. So fear the government ! The pen is mightier than the sword ! The English text all over the place is so scary ! I don't blame them. It is just as scary as my visits to Malaysia when there are no English or Chinese words around.
• Afraid of external negative impressions for their own failures
  Children telling the parents what to do is bad. Worse still if people get wind of this. Why can't they be proud of it instead? I will be a very impressed and proud father when my kid offers me a good explanation and suggestions.

So I tried 3 approaches

1. Try explaining
   As the years go by, their ear wax seems to have thicken as well. I can spend time standing there explaining how to do things in the proper manner. But the next moment, they screw things up because they aren't listening. Wasted my time.
2. Try giving simple instructions
   They refused to listen, do things their own way and screw things up. When seeking an explanation for their failure, it goes back to approach 1.
3. Screw it. Let them perish on their own
   Being in the same family, their failures will also affect us. Maybe it's time to take the hard way out. Which brings us to point 3a and 3b ...
   3a) Seize control of the family
   Nothing to gain, not interested, waste of time
   3b) Start my own family, ignore the current family
   Actually, I am interested in this one. Interested parties please email me.

Nothing vex me more on their brutal refusal of the reality quicksand they are standing on. Most frequently heard crap ...

• I am your [mother/father] and I know what's right (They don't)
• I know what to do (and actually they are clueless)
• Don't tell me what to do (and continue to screw up)
• If we can raise you up, there will be no problem this time (I am actually amazed that despite their apparent missteps throughout my life, I am still here, alive and kicking)
• Start raising voices, then claim that you are rude to them (Desperate face saving move)
• Try to divert to another topic, refuse to come back to the point even if it's totally off track (Smoke bomb tactic)
• Why change, this works before ... (The world moves on without you then)

Their ego and image as the perfect parent is so important, so much more than doing things right, and it ends up making themselves into fools.

So I told my sisters some years back that...
"Our parents are not making sense as we are growing older"

A couple of months ago...
"I think our parents stops making sense already"

And yesterday night, I told them that...
"You can safely ignore them will I say so"

They can get hyper worried over situations, which I took minutes to resolve and settle. I really find it hard to understand why they have to procrastinate so much even when I offer them the solution and my help.

Like it or not, the tide will change as reality sets in.

Money = Power

As the breadwinners, the children will eventually gets the last say in the important decisions in the family. Nothing works without money nowadays.

Despite all the parents bashing above, I still love them. I don't need much from them, just cooperation is all I ask for. I will try to respect them but regaining the lost respect is really hard. Hopefully they don't screw up something major and give us (the children) long term problems.

The Devil on the train

Seen inconsiderate people on our train system ? Ever wonder what to do with them ? What is a world class transportation system with 3rd world behavior ?

Try the Devil's 101 guide to subway mayhem ! Follow my lead and make life hell for those who dare to oppose me !

1. People rushing in, and start pushing you in before you can step out of the train
   I elbowed and push people OUT of the train whenever that happens. I didn't care if I stepped over their shoes and legs. They deserve it.
   
   I want to get off the train and they dared to block my way and push me back? No way !
   
   
2. While walking out or into the train, some moron just cut in front of you causing you to lose your balance to avoid the moron.
   I quitted trying to avoid these morons. I simply continue my steps and walked over their legs and shoes.
   
   There was once when I was walking into a train at Yishun with my sister when a mother pulled her daughter into the train, cutting into our paths and nearly caused by sister to fall if I had not grab her to safety. I was boiling with anger so much that I almost tried to push the mother OUT of the train as the door closed behind us. The only thing that stopped me was that I have to check my sister for injuries. From then on, I vowed to take only cab for public transport whenever I travel with my sister.
   
   
3. People pushing you aside while they attempt to take over the spot you are standing on while there is still space nearby. They just want your spot.
   During the next acceleration or deceleration of the train, especially at the stations, "lose" your balance and give the bugger a big shove with the butt. Keep repeating this until they move to another area.
   
   
4. The sleeping beauty sitting beside you insists on taking extra space and leaning on you despite the fact that the person is not completely sound asleep.
   I will fold my arms, so whenever the person leans towards me, the person will be elbowed. Also put up your legs so whenever the person's leg comes too close, the person will get a free sole print of my shoes. Only exceptions for this is if the person is a babe.
   
   
5. Moron blocking the door when they can either step out of the train or move into less crowded area at every stop.
   Say excuse me, push gently and if the person refuses to move, disregard the person's feelings and rush out. Elbow, push, step over the legs and shoes if needed. There was once when another fellow passenger felt the same way too. We rushed out of the train , sandwich the moron who chosed to stand in the middle of the door and crush him between us. His bag flew and we didn't bother to look back.
   
   
6. You gave up a seat for someone who needs it, and some idiot have to rush in to fill up the seat.
   Tell the moron nicely that the seat is for the needy. If the moron persists, start saying degrading comments that will embrass even the moron's dead ancestors until my desired is fulfilled.
   
   I had to do it once to a woman. She pretended not to hear my nicely placed words and made me do it. I annoyed the hell out of her until she stormed off. The old lady felt paiseh but I didn't care less. I will meet my objectives no matter the cost.
   
   
7. Some moron chosed to sit in the middle of the train or near the opening doors when the train is already jammed pack.
   Step over them through "accidents" during train accelerations and decelerations. Use the heels and soles. Before they complain, respond with "Why you sit here har ??!"

I got nothing against kids running around on the train and swinging at the poles. I did it when I was a kid, and it's fun. These are kids and I don't expect much from them. But the adults are different. If they can disregard your safety, feelings and pain, I will gladly return the favour. Since I don't have time to lecture these morons, I will cause them the same ill feelings, pain and possible danger to their safety as they will have inflict on me.

During my observations, I found that men are more likely to give up their seats then women as soon as they spotted a needy person. Some women simply pretend not to see, hear or close their eyes when a needy person is spotted. I glad to see plenty of gentlemen around but the absence of graceful ladies is disturbing. Being tired is a very bad reason for hogging a much needed seat for those in need.

Most often, those who needs the seats are too paiseh to ask for a seat. When that happens, I will have to do the dirty work : be the asshole who ask the young adult to give up their seat on behalf of the needy. Most do, so you just have to ask. The level of empathy in Singapore is almost hopeless. So someone have to take the lead, and that starts with you.

What NOT to do if you are a burglar

What NOT to do if you are a burglar

Please don't do this if you ever plan to break into a convenience store.
Brought to you by Devil's 'O' Vision, click here to watch this incredibly stupid moron in action.

The Life Science Dilemma

The Life Science Dilemma

For those who haven't stick their head in the sands for the last few years, you should be aware of the Singapore 政府's push for life science. Touted as the next big thing after the last mega push, Information Technology, our 小 Lee decided that we should embrace this expanding field with open arms. And so we got our Biopolis built for SGD$500,000,000, kar-po the world's leading bio-tech scientists (I am presuming that some are stem cells researching who are pissed off from US virtual banning of stem cells research) and what do you know ? We are starting to do bio-tech research and manufacturing medicine !

The educational system, anticipating a demand for life science grads, came up with degrees, diplomas and various certifications in the Life Science field. All things looks pretty rosy from the outside, but somewhere along the way, something don't adds up.

A majority of the students were expecting lab jobs to be available to them after they graduates from their studies. Afterall, who will not be interested in finding the next wonder cure for some deadly diseases ? My youngest sister, who is now studying at ITE college east (Simei) for her Higher Nitec in Biochemical Technology cert certainly will like to.

As the evil man I have always been, I began to cast doubts on her choice of career in life science. Here are some of the current perceptions of life science which I have doubts in.

The Devil's Life Science FAQ !

1. Can always find a lab job after graduating lah !
   Did anyone actually ask the senior students who have entered the workforce ? My older sister did. Her friend got a local degree, but ended up as a salesman selling biotech equipment.
   
   
2. But at least can wash test tubes right ?
   There are degree holders pressing buttons on the machines to wash the test tubes. And the positions are all filled up. ITE cert? Not a chance !
   
   
3. Then what can i do so that I can do research work in a lab ?
   Get a PhD ? The foreign companies wants PhD holders to lead research. The underlings are aplenty, so it's hard unless you suck really hard to get yourself into lab work in your degree course, it's really hard. Unfortunately, Singapore doesn't seems to produce much PhD holders, if any at all.
   
   
4. Cannot be no job mah ! So many companies out there ! They put in a lot of many into this !
   The labs cost alot of money. The leading researchers also cost a bomb. The researches cost a good fortune overall. But the lab tech jobs are so few and lowly paid compared with their peers. Unlike the last push for IT, there are vast differences in the 2 industries. Life science is a case of lots of money into a small pool of people while IT is hell of alot of money into a large pool of people. Every company needs a IT team, but not a bio-tech guy. The comparison starts here and will only concludes that bio-tech doesn't seem like what it is being advertised as. Even after the dot-com burst, companies know the importance of IT. So the IT industry lives on and evolves.
   
   
5. I want to be there ! It is a growing field and it should make more $$$ !
   Most degree holders don't make even $2000. ITE certs and diploma holders ? Tough luck. I seriously doubt that you might even get employment in the related fields. Maybe a salesman or manufacturing guy ?
   
   
6. But 政府 says one !
   Well, they kept mummed during the dot-com burst. Let's cross our fingers.
   
   
7. I can do the sai-kang and wait till i get the position i want !
   I don't think that will happen and when you see your peers out-stripping your pay check several times over a couple of months, you will think again.

And a few days back, my youngest sister told me that she have received an attachment posting to a company-that-shall-not-be-named located in Jurong. Wow, that's good ! Some experience will be good ! But the kicker came when she revealed that she will not be getting a dime during the attachment period. Not a single cent ?! What kind of cheapskate company is that ? Students typically get $400 to $1000 during attachments !

Of course they questioned their school. The reason for this sorry situation is that the several companies that they got the attachment opportunities from are unwilling to pay for the first batch of ITE students because they are unproven and of questionable quality. This is outrageous, so much for a sector with positive outlook ! The first batch of IT students didn't get this kind of treatment !

If I were in the companies involved, I will do this year after year for free labour ! Why pay $2000 for a degree holder to wash test tubes when you can have hordes of eager ITE students to do the same - for FREE !

And if I were the student, it's time to bail out and switch course when I go for my diploma or degree.

Well, my youngest sister is not buying my argument. We shall see.

Check out this article from Today too. Good read.

update 12/01/08 : My sister finally landed a job at a food company for $1500 as an assistant.

The Sinking of Japan (Nihon chinbotsu)

The Sinking of Japan (Nihon chinbotsu) (2006)
(Trailer available here)

This is a remake of a film of the same name (1973), based on a novel by Sakyo Komatsu. The story is about Japan sinking into the ocean. The science behind this is highly plausible, given the super short time it took to happen : 338 days !? Ignoring the science as I did in The day after tomorrow and The Core, it's a great disaster movie to watch. Hey, Japan sits in the ring of fire, on 4 tectronic plates no less, so this can happen right ? Right ?? It helps when I am a great fan of disaster movies. Killing puny humans with the wrath of nature is really great entertainment, so long it doesn't happen to me in real life.

But well, the movie is great, the CG is hollywood quality, nothing looks fake, and it did not waste time at all. The first scene is a volcanic eruption with the female lead, Reiko Abe, swinging in to save the lucky clueless bastard, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi who was in turn, trying to save a little girl, Misa.

As in The Core, we got a scientist, Takamori, to explain the situation to the Japan government. Instead taking 5 years (that's fast) to slide into the pacific ocean as predicted by the yankees, bacteria in the crust produced methane gas which acted as a lubricant and accelerated the sliding process. So it's just 338 days to the total distruction of Japan ! This must be sweet vengence for all the atrocities Japan had committed during WWII !!! If we can't have the beautiful race queens and babes during many of their trade shows, they aren't allowed to have any either !

As the sliding into total destruction progresses, every volcano on Japan erupted, seas boiled, fissures appeared everywhere, mega tsunami swept and the air looks like Silent Hills with PSI in the thousands. The Japanese prime minister (hair style looks like Koizumi's) got blew out of the air while flying over a erupting volcano spectcularly.

Without leaking the entire storyline, here are some interesting thoughts I got in my head while watching the movie. You will need to watch the movie to understand these :

1. Can you get so many drilling ships to gather, drill holes in the ocean floor, and plant "N2" explosives at a moment's notice?
2. N2 is a fictional explosive that is almost as powerful as an nuclear device. Wow, the only thing I can think of that can do so is a non-existance anti-matter bomb.
3. Tsuyoshi Kusanagi actually denied Reiko Abe in heat ! Even when he knew that he will have absolutely no chance to continue his family line at all after the night. Didn't his father thought him the importance of the family line ?
4. The chain explosion caused by N2 explosives broke the stressed tectronic plates into 2, and prevented Japan from sinking further. That should generate a massive Tsunami that would have sunk Japan anyway, and do it's rounds in the pacific region. But well, every disaster movie needs a happy ending.
5. Godzilla did not appear to save the day, nor migrate to China.
6. If there is really so much methane gas in the crust, Japan should have long detect the massive deposits and pumped them out as fuel for it's enormous energy needs. Why wait for it to become lubricant for the sinking of Japan ? Sell it to the Chinese or the Yankees !
7. In many scenes in the movie, despite the heavy volcanic ashes and smoke, not many people are covering their noses. Very unlikely to happen if it's for real.