The Devil on the train

Seen inconsiderate people on our train system ? Ever wonder what to do with them ? What is a world class transportation system with 3rd world behavior ?

Try the Devil's 101 guide to subway mayhem ! Follow my lead and make life hell for those who dare to oppose me !

1. People rushing in, and start pushing you in before you can step out of the train
   I elbowed and push people OUT of the train whenever that happens. I didn't care if I stepped over their shoes and legs. They deserve it.
   
   I want to get off the train and they dared to block my way and push me back? No way !
   
   
2. While walking out or into the train, some moron just cut in front of you causing you to lose your balance to avoid the moron.
   I quitted trying to avoid these morons. I simply continue my steps and walked over their legs and shoes.
   
   There was once when I was walking into a train at Yishun with my sister when a mother pulled her daughter into the train, cutting into our paths and nearly caused by sister to fall if I had not grab her to safety. I was boiling with anger so much that I almost tried to push the mother OUT of the train as the door closed behind us. The only thing that stopped me was that I have to check my sister for injuries. From then on, I vowed to take only cab for public transport whenever I travel with my sister.
   
   
3. People pushing you aside while they attempt to take over the spot you are standing on while there is still space nearby. They just want your spot.
   During the next acceleration or deceleration of the train, especially at the stations, "lose" your balance and give the bugger a big shove with the butt. Keep repeating this until they move to another area.
   
   
4. The sleeping beauty sitting beside you insists on taking extra space and leaning on you despite the fact that the person is not completely sound asleep.
   I will fold my arms, so whenever the person leans towards me, the person will be elbowed. Also put up your legs so whenever the person's leg comes too close, the person will get a free sole print of my shoes. Only exceptions for this is if the person is a babe.
   
   
5. Moron blocking the door when they can either step out of the train or move into less crowded area at every stop.
   Say excuse me, push gently and if the person refuses to move, disregard the person's feelings and rush out. Elbow, push, step over the legs and shoes if needed. There was once when another fellow passenger felt the same way too. We rushed out of the train , sandwich the moron who chosed to stand in the middle of the door and crush him between us. His bag flew and we didn't bother to look back.
   
   
6. You gave up a seat for someone who needs it, and some idiot have to rush in to fill up the seat.
   Tell the moron nicely that the seat is for the needy. If the moron persists, start saying degrading comments that will embrass even the moron's dead ancestors until my desired is fulfilled.
   
   I had to do it once to a woman. She pretended not to hear my nicely placed words and made me do it. I annoyed the hell out of her until she stormed off. The old lady felt paiseh but I didn't care less. I will meet my objectives no matter the cost.
   
   
7. Some moron chosed to sit in the middle of the train or near the opening doors when the train is already jammed pack.
   Step over them through "accidents" during train accelerations and decelerations. Use the heels and soles. Before they complain, respond with "Why you sit here har ??!"

I got nothing against kids running around on the train and swinging at the poles. I did it when I was a kid, and it's fun. These are kids and I don't expect much from them. But the adults are different. If they can disregard your safety, feelings and pain, I will gladly return the favour. Since I don't have time to lecture these morons, I will cause them the same ill feelings, pain and possible danger to their safety as they will have inflict on me.

During my observations, I found that men are more likely to give up their seats then women as soon as they spotted a needy person. Some women simply pretend not to see, hear or close their eyes when a needy person is spotted. I glad to see plenty of gentlemen around but the absence of graceful ladies is disturbing. Being tired is a very bad reason for hogging a much needed seat for those in need.

Most often, those who needs the seats are too paiseh to ask for a seat. When that happens, I will have to do the dirty work : be the asshole who ask the young adult to give up their seat on behalf of the needy. Most do, so you just have to ask. The level of empathy in Singapore is almost hopeless. So someone have to take the lead, and that starts with you.

What NOT to do if you are a burglar

What NOT to do if you are a burglar

Please don't do this if you ever plan to break into a convenience store.
Brought to you by Devil's 'O' Vision, click here to watch this incredibly stupid moron in action.

The Life Science Dilemma

The Life Science Dilemma

For those who haven't stick their head in the sands for the last few years, you should be aware of the Singapore 政府's push for life science. Touted as the next big thing after the last mega push, Information Technology, our 小 Lee decided that we should embrace this expanding field with open arms. And so we got our Biopolis built for SGD$500,000,000, kar-po the world's leading bio-tech scientists (I am presuming that some are stem cells researching who are pissed off from US virtual banning of stem cells research) and what do you know ? We are starting to do bio-tech research and manufacturing medicine !

The educational system, anticipating a demand for life science grads, came up with degrees, diplomas and various certifications in the Life Science field. All things looks pretty rosy from the outside, but somewhere along the way, something don't adds up.

A majority of the students were expecting lab jobs to be available to them after they graduates from their studies. Afterall, who will not be interested in finding the next wonder cure for some deadly diseases ? My youngest sister, who is now studying at ITE college east (Simei) for her Higher Nitec in Biochemical Technology cert certainly will like to.

As the evil man I have always been, I began to cast doubts on her choice of career in life science. Here are some of the current perceptions of life science which I have doubts in.

The Devil's Life Science FAQ !

1. Can always find a lab job after graduating lah !
   Did anyone actually ask the senior students who have entered the workforce ? My older sister did. Her friend got a local degree, but ended up as a salesman selling biotech equipment.
   
   
2. But at least can wash test tubes right ?
   There are degree holders pressing buttons on the machines to wash the test tubes. And the positions are all filled up. ITE cert? Not a chance !
   
   
3. Then what can i do so that I can do research work in a lab ?
   Get a PhD ? The foreign companies wants PhD holders to lead research. The underlings are aplenty, so it's hard unless you suck really hard to get yourself into lab work in your degree course, it's really hard. Unfortunately, Singapore doesn't seems to produce much PhD holders, if any at all.
   
   
4. Cannot be no job mah ! So many companies out there ! They put in a lot of many into this !
   The labs cost alot of money. The leading researchers also cost a bomb. The researches cost a good fortune overall. But the lab tech jobs are so few and lowly paid compared with their peers. Unlike the last push for IT, there are vast differences in the 2 industries. Life science is a case of lots of money into a small pool of people while IT is hell of alot of money into a large pool of people. Every company needs a IT team, but not a bio-tech guy. The comparison starts here and will only concludes that bio-tech doesn't seem like what it is being advertised as. Even after the dot-com burst, companies know the importance of IT. So the IT industry lives on and evolves.
   
   
5. I want to be there ! It is a growing field and it should make more $$$ !
   Most degree holders don't make even $2000. ITE certs and diploma holders ? Tough luck. I seriously doubt that you might even get employment in the related fields. Maybe a salesman or manufacturing guy ?
   
   
6. But 政府 says one !
   Well, they kept mummed during the dot-com burst. Let's cross our fingers.
   
   
7. I can do the sai-kang and wait till i get the position i want !
   I don't think that will happen and when you see your peers out-stripping your pay check several times over a couple of months, you will think again.

And a few days back, my youngest sister told me that she have received an attachment posting to a company-that-shall-not-be-named located in Jurong. Wow, that's good ! Some experience will be good ! But the kicker came when she revealed that she will not be getting a dime during the attachment period. Not a single cent ?! What kind of cheapskate company is that ? Students typically get $400 to $1000 during attachments !

Of course they questioned their school. The reason for this sorry situation is that the several companies that they got the attachment opportunities from are unwilling to pay for the first batch of ITE students because they are unproven and of questionable quality. This is outrageous, so much for a sector with positive outlook ! The first batch of IT students didn't get this kind of treatment !

If I were in the companies involved, I will do this year after year for free labour ! Why pay $2000 for a degree holder to wash test tubes when you can have hordes of eager ITE students to do the same - for FREE !

And if I were the student, it's time to bail out and switch course when I go for my diploma or degree.

Well, my youngest sister is not buying my argument. We shall see.

Check out this article from Today too. Good read.

update 12/01/08 : My sister finally landed a job at a food company for $1500 as an assistant.

The Sinking of Japan (Nihon chinbotsu)

The Sinking of Japan (Nihon chinbotsu) (2006)
(Trailer available here)

This is a remake of a film of the same name (1973), based on a novel by Sakyo Komatsu. The story is about Japan sinking into the ocean. The science behind this is highly plausible, given the super short time it took to happen : 338 days !? Ignoring the science as I did in The day after tomorrow and The Core, it's a great disaster movie to watch. Hey, Japan sits in the ring of fire, on 4 tectronic plates no less, so this can happen right ? Right ?? It helps when I am a great fan of disaster movies. Killing puny humans with the wrath of nature is really great entertainment, so long it doesn't happen to me in real life.

But well, the movie is great, the CG is hollywood quality, nothing looks fake, and it did not waste time at all. The first scene is a volcanic eruption with the female lead, Reiko Abe, swinging in to save the lucky clueless bastard, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi who was in turn, trying to save a little girl, Misa.

As in The Core, we got a scientist, Takamori, to explain the situation to the Japan government. Instead taking 5 years (that's fast) to slide into the pacific ocean as predicted by the yankees, bacteria in the crust produced methane gas which acted as a lubricant and accelerated the sliding process. So it's just 338 days to the total distruction of Japan ! This must be sweet vengence for all the atrocities Japan had committed during WWII !!! If we can't have the beautiful race queens and babes during many of their trade shows, they aren't allowed to have any either !

As the sliding into total destruction progresses, every volcano on Japan erupted, seas boiled, fissures appeared everywhere, mega tsunami swept and the air looks like Silent Hills with PSI in the thousands. The Japanese prime minister (hair style looks like Koizumi's) got blew out of the air while flying over a erupting volcano spectcularly.

Without leaking the entire storyline, here are some interesting thoughts I got in my head while watching the movie. You will need to watch the movie to understand these :

1. Can you get so many drilling ships to gather, drill holes in the ocean floor, and plant "N2" explosives at a moment's notice?
2. N2 is a fictional explosive that is almost as powerful as an nuclear device. Wow, the only thing I can think of that can do so is a non-existance anti-matter bomb.
3. Tsuyoshi Kusanagi actually denied Reiko Abe in heat ! Even when he knew that he will have absolutely no chance to continue his family line at all after the night. Didn't his father thought him the importance of the family line ?
4. The chain explosion caused by N2 explosives broke the stressed tectronic plates into 2, and prevented Japan from sinking further. That should generate a massive Tsunami that would have sunk Japan anyway, and do it's rounds in the pacific region. But well, every disaster movie needs a happy ending.
5. Godzilla did not appear to save the day, nor migrate to China.
6. If there is really so much methane gas in the crust, Japan should have long detect the massive deposits and pumped them out as fuel for it's enormous energy needs. Why wait for it to become lubricant for the sinking of Japan ? Sell it to the Chinese or the Yankees !
7. In many scenes in the movie, despite the heavy volcanic ashes and smoke, not many people are covering their noses. Very unlikely to happen if it's for real.