The Devil on the train

Seen inconsiderate people on our train system ? Ever wonder what to do with them ? What is a world class transportation system with 3rd world behavior ?

Try the Devil's 101 guide to subway mayhem ! Follow my lead and make life hell for those who dare to oppose me !

1. People rushing in, and start pushing you in before you can step out of the train
   I elbowed and push people OUT of the train whenever that happens. I didn't care if I stepped over their shoes and legs. They deserve it.
   
   I want to get off the train and they dared to block my way and push me back? No way !
   
   
2. While walking out or into the train, some moron just cut in front of you causing you to lose your balance to avoid the moron.
   I quitted trying to avoid these morons. I simply continue my steps and walked over their legs and shoes.
   
   There was once when I was walking into a train at Yishun with my sister when a mother pulled her daughter into the train, cutting into our paths and nearly caused by sister to fall if I had not grab her to safety. I was boiling with anger so much that I almost tried to push the mother OUT of the train as the door closed behind us. The only thing that stopped me was that I have to check my sister for injuries. From then on, I vowed to take only cab for public transport whenever I travel with my sister.
   
   
3. People pushing you aside while they attempt to take over the spot you are standing on while there is still space nearby. They just want your spot.
   During the next acceleration or deceleration of the train, especially at the stations, "lose" your balance and give the bugger a big shove with the butt. Keep repeating this until they move to another area.
   
   
4. The sleeping beauty sitting beside you insists on taking extra space and leaning on you despite the fact that the person is not completely sound asleep.
   I will fold my arms, so whenever the person leans towards me, the person will be elbowed. Also put up your legs so whenever the person's leg comes too close, the person will get a free sole print of my shoes. Only exceptions for this is if the person is a babe.
   
   
5. Moron blocking the door when they can either step out of the train or move into less crowded area at every stop.
   Say excuse me, push gently and if the person refuses to move, disregard the person's feelings and rush out. Elbow, push, step over the legs and shoes if needed. There was once when another fellow passenger felt the same way too. We rushed out of the train , sandwich the moron who chosed to stand in the middle of the door and crush him between us. His bag flew and we didn't bother to look back.
   
   
6. You gave up a seat for someone who needs it, and some idiot have to rush in to fill up the seat.
   Tell the moron nicely that the seat is for the needy. If the moron persists, start saying degrading comments that will embrass even the moron's dead ancestors until my desired is fulfilled.
   
   I had to do it once to a woman. She pretended not to hear my nicely placed words and made me do it. I annoyed the hell out of her until she stormed off. The old lady felt paiseh but I didn't care less. I will meet my objectives no matter the cost.
   
   
7. Some moron chosed to sit in the middle of the train or near the opening doors when the train is already jammed pack.
   Step over them through "accidents" during train accelerations and decelerations. Use the heels and soles. Before they complain, respond with "Why you sit here har ??!"

I got nothing against kids running around on the train and swinging at the poles. I did it when I was a kid, and it's fun. These are kids and I don't expect much from them. But the adults are different. If they can disregard your safety, feelings and pain, I will gladly return the favour. Since I don't have time to lecture these morons, I will cause them the same ill feelings, pain and possible danger to their safety as they will have inflict on me.

During my observations, I found that men are more likely to give up their seats then women as soon as they spotted a needy person. Some women simply pretend not to see, hear or close their eyes when a needy person is spotted. I glad to see plenty of gentlemen around but the absence of graceful ladies is disturbing. Being tired is a very bad reason for hogging a much needed seat for those in need.

Most often, those who needs the seats are too paiseh to ask for a seat. When that happens, I will have to do the dirty work : be the asshole who ask the young adult to give up their seat on behalf of the needy. Most do, so you just have to ask. The level of empathy in Singapore is almost hopeless. So someone have to take the lead, and that starts with you.

What NOT to do if you are a burglar

What NOT to do if you are a burglar

Please don't do this if you ever plan to break into a convenience store.
Brought to you by Devil's 'O' Vision, click here to watch this incredibly stupid moron in action.

The Life Science Dilemma

The Life Science Dilemma

For those who haven't stick their head in the sands for the last few years, you should be aware of the Singapore 政府's push for life science. Touted as the next big thing after the last mega push, Information Technology, our 小 Lee decided that we should embrace this expanding field with open arms. And so we got our Biopolis built for SGD$500,000,000, kar-po the world's leading bio-tech scientists (I am presuming that some are stem cells researching who are pissed off from US virtual banning of stem cells research) and what do you know ? We are starting to do bio-tech research and manufacturing medicine !

The educational system, anticipating a demand for life science grads, came up with degrees, diplomas and various certifications in the Life Science field. All things looks pretty rosy from the outside, but somewhere along the way, something don't adds up.

A majority of the students were expecting lab jobs to be available to them after they graduates from their studies. Afterall, who will not be interested in finding the next wonder cure for some deadly diseases ? My youngest sister, who is now studying at ITE college east (Simei) for her Higher Nitec in Biochemical Technology cert certainly will like to.

As the evil man I have always been, I began to cast doubts on her choice of career in life science. Here are some of the current perceptions of life science which I have doubts in.

The Devil's Life Science FAQ !

1. Can always find a lab job after graduating lah !
   Did anyone actually ask the senior students who have entered the workforce ? My older sister did. Her friend got a local degree, but ended up as a salesman selling biotech equipment.
   
   
2. But at least can wash test tubes right ?
   There are degree holders pressing buttons on the machines to wash the test tubes. And the positions are all filled up. ITE cert? Not a chance !
   
   
3. Then what can i do so that I can do research work in a lab ?
   Get a PhD ? The foreign companies wants PhD holders to lead research. The underlings are aplenty, so it's hard unless you suck really hard to get yourself into lab work in your degree course, it's really hard. Unfortunately, Singapore doesn't seems to produce much PhD holders, if any at all.
   
   
4. Cannot be no job mah ! So many companies out there ! They put in a lot of many into this !
   The labs cost alot of money. The leading researchers also cost a bomb. The researches cost a good fortune overall. But the lab tech jobs are so few and lowly paid compared with their peers. Unlike the last push for IT, there are vast differences in the 2 industries. Life science is a case of lots of money into a small pool of people while IT is hell of alot of money into a large pool of people. Every company needs a IT team, but not a bio-tech guy. The comparison starts here and will only concludes that bio-tech doesn't seem like what it is being advertised as. Even after the dot-com burst, companies know the importance of IT. So the IT industry lives on and evolves.
   
   
5. I want to be there ! It is a growing field and it should make more $$$ !
   Most degree holders don't make even $2000. ITE certs and diploma holders ? Tough luck. I seriously doubt that you might even get employment in the related fields. Maybe a salesman or manufacturing guy ?
   
   
6. But 政府 says one !
   Well, they kept mummed during the dot-com burst. Let's cross our fingers.
   
   
7. I can do the sai-kang and wait till i get the position i want !
   I don't think that will happen and when you see your peers out-stripping your pay check several times over a couple of months, you will think again.

And a few days back, my youngest sister told me that she have received an attachment posting to a company-that-shall-not-be-named located in Jurong. Wow, that's good ! Some experience will be good ! But the kicker came when she revealed that she will not be getting a dime during the attachment period. Not a single cent ?! What kind of cheapskate company is that ? Students typically get $400 to $1000 during attachments !

Of course they questioned their school. The reason for this sorry situation is that the several companies that they got the attachment opportunities from are unwilling to pay for the first batch of ITE students because they are unproven and of questionable quality. This is outrageous, so much for a sector with positive outlook ! The first batch of IT students didn't get this kind of treatment !

If I were in the companies involved, I will do this year after year for free labour ! Why pay $2000 for a degree holder to wash test tubes when you can have hordes of eager ITE students to do the same - for FREE !

And if I were the student, it's time to bail out and switch course when I go for my diploma or degree.

Well, my youngest sister is not buying my argument. We shall see.

Check out this article from Today too. Good read.

update 12/01/08 : My sister finally landed a job at a food company for $1500 as an assistant.

The Sinking of Japan (Nihon chinbotsu)

The Sinking of Japan (Nihon chinbotsu) (2006)
(Trailer available here)

This is a remake of a film of the same name (1973), based on a novel by Sakyo Komatsu. The story is about Japan sinking into the ocean. The science behind this is highly plausible, given the super short time it took to happen : 338 days !? Ignoring the science as I did in The day after tomorrow and The Core, it's a great disaster movie to watch. Hey, Japan sits in the ring of fire, on 4 tectronic plates no less, so this can happen right ? Right ?? It helps when I am a great fan of disaster movies. Killing puny humans with the wrath of nature is really great entertainment, so long it doesn't happen to me in real life.

But well, the movie is great, the CG is hollywood quality, nothing looks fake, and it did not waste time at all. The first scene is a volcanic eruption with the female lead, Reiko Abe, swinging in to save the lucky clueless bastard, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi who was in turn, trying to save a little girl, Misa.

As in The Core, we got a scientist, Takamori, to explain the situation to the Japan government. Instead taking 5 years (that's fast) to slide into the pacific ocean as predicted by the yankees, bacteria in the crust produced methane gas which acted as a lubricant and accelerated the sliding process. So it's just 338 days to the total distruction of Japan ! This must be sweet vengence for all the atrocities Japan had committed during WWII !!! If we can't have the beautiful race queens and babes during many of their trade shows, they aren't allowed to have any either !

As the sliding into total destruction progresses, every volcano on Japan erupted, seas boiled, fissures appeared everywhere, mega tsunami swept and the air looks like Silent Hills with PSI in the thousands. The Japanese prime minister (hair style looks like Koizumi's) got blew out of the air while flying over a erupting volcano spectcularly.

Without leaking the entire storyline, here are some interesting thoughts I got in my head while watching the movie. You will need to watch the movie to understand these :

1. Can you get so many drilling ships to gather, drill holes in the ocean floor, and plant "N2" explosives at a moment's notice?
2. N2 is a fictional explosive that is almost as powerful as an nuclear device. Wow, the only thing I can think of that can do so is a non-existance anti-matter bomb.
3. Tsuyoshi Kusanagi actually denied Reiko Abe in heat ! Even when he knew that he will have absolutely no chance to continue his family line at all after the night. Didn't his father thought him the importance of the family line ?
4. The chain explosion caused by N2 explosives broke the stressed tectronic plates into 2, and prevented Japan from sinking further. That should generate a massive Tsunami that would have sunk Japan anyway, and do it's rounds in the pacific region. But well, every disaster movie needs a happy ending.
5. Godzilla did not appear to save the day, nor migrate to China.
6. If there is really so much methane gas in the crust, Japan should have long detect the massive deposits and pumped them out as fuel for it's enormous energy needs. Why wait for it to become lubricant for the sinking of Japan ? Sell it to the Chinese or the Yankees !
7. In many scenes in the movie, despite the heavy volcanic ashes and smoke, not many people are covering their noses. Very unlikely to happen if it's for real.
   

BBQ @ East Coast Park

BBQ @ East Coast Park, 21 Oct 2006

Firstly, thanks to everyone who made it to the BBQ.

Sorted in order of arrival...the people who showed up
Helen, Darren (Helen's hubby), Desmond, Dawn (Helen's colleague), Karen, Jiahui, Jiawei, Meifeng, Cuiyan, Qinwei, Shimin (My youngest sister), Jiemin & Xiaohui (Jiemin's GF).

As usual, everyone is habitually late. Things didn't exactly went as planned as usual. Desmond bought a new type charcoal that burns cleanly and the water dispenser that did not materialise, but hey ! The PSI (84 average) wasn't too bad and it didn't rain.

There was also this great evening sea breeze till 7pm that gave us a hard time getting the fire going. But once the fire reached the critical self-sustaining point, it was a smokeless fire. The aweful BBQ syndrome (the smell on your clothes) was missing, good riddance ! That's thanks to Desmond's lucky choice (or rather no choice), we had more people around the fire than at the table. The high carbon charcoal burns cleanly without smoke and soot, which will from now on, replace the cheap end of the mill charcoal we are used to.

Hopefully, the new menu suited everyone's taste. I have drew up the food menu with inpirations, or rather copy & paste from the Hawaiian BBQ now at Turf City. Throw in a couple of all-time favorites while doing the last minute shopping at Carrefour Suntec City (Helen, Darren, Jiemin, Xiaohui, Desmond) on Friday, we got the new and improved menu which cost only $12.50 per head. The sore missing all-time favorite was Otah.

Our 3 Ds-cooks (Darren, Desmond and Dawn) did a good job, so I didn't get a chance to make the food inedible aka charred. Kudos to Desmond, Darren and Helen for marinating the meat till the wee hours of 1.30am on Friday after the exhausting shopping spree. We have never been more glad to ditch the almost unused bottle of BBQ sauce we have bought. We no longer have to take the lazy way out : to put BBQ sauce on every single piece of meat.

And we shall not forget Jiemin's contribution of a tub of margarine and Xiaohui's laden for the drinks.

****

Some happenings :

For those who didn't know, Jiawei is now in NIE, training as a Chinese teacher. Mrs Seah will be so proud !

Desmond's tried to launch light sticks ICBMs at me while I was taking a stroll on the beach. But the he ended up getting a earful from 2 ladies near where I was standing when his ICBMs were proven to be as accurate as Mr Kim's made-in-North Korea missles. All 3 strayed off-target by 5 to 8 metres.

For those who didn't hang around till the end, Jiemin made an annoucement that he will be ROMing in the morning on the 24th December 2006. That's a fast whirlwind romance, really fast boy. Time to prepare Ang Bao for his customary wedding, I know he plans to hold one.

****

The night went well. All looks good, and not much food got wasted. Everyone was tired and some of us have to work on Sunday so we called it a day at 12 midnight. As good citizens, we cleaned up the place before we zao.

Afterthoughts

As time goes on, it became apparent that I should call these gatherings TGPS class gatherings anymore. In this case, we have 4 non-classmates (34% of turnout) and the group who usually turned up is pretty much the same. Using the current name alienates the new friends we have, and I believe we should expand this group of friends. As such, please think of a new name for this, as "Jiakhang's & friends gathering" sounds so lame.

Oh please contribute some Ang Kong as I did not take any during the BBQ

Hollywood's misuse of technological breakthroughs is pissing me off

Hollywood's misuse of technological breakthroughs is pissing me off

Hollywood's main job is to entertain us, and very often, new devices are featured in movies. Assuming the device worked as Hollywood advertised, by breaking as many as the known laws of the universe as required to make it work, I find it really hard to believe that the main character in the movie ......

FAILED TO ABUSE THE DEVICE !!!!!!

...... If only I can lay my hands on the device !!!!!!

Here's some examples

Click

In Click, Adam Sandler plays Michael Newman who is a architect who overworked himself for promotion and ultimately, as a business partner in his job. Ignoring the fact that he can be such a bastard to Donna Newman (Kate Beckinsale) aka the hot babe in PVC suit in Underworld, he displayed supreme stupidity when he got a universal remote control which does a couple of amazing things which affects the things around him.

1. Mute, or change volume of target object to Adam
2. PnP (Picture in picture view) of the world to Adam
3. Rewind to any part of Adam's life and play it back like a video
4. Fast forward himself or an object by going on auto-pilot mode
5. Pause the world and makes changes to it

And guess what, he is a complete moron to use the Fast forward button most frequently. It's is a complete waste of a device which is really a god-send. Instead of fast-forwarding, he should be pressing the pause button ALL the time !

By pausing time, relatively to the rest of the universe, you can do so much more in the same period of time ! Having infinite time will be so godly, just think about it ! Every single button on the remote is god-like powers !

The Prestige

Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) and Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) were rival magicians whose intense competition ends up with Robert Angier winding up with Tesla's special creation for him : A device which can duplicate anything !!!!!!

The only catch is that the duplicate can appear anywhere within a couple of metres from the original to a hundred metres or so. No big deal, can always work around that, especially when the same duplicated item always ends up at almost the same spot as the hats and cats have shown at Tesla hideout. Instead of abusing the device, Tesla gave it away to Robert Angier, who in turned used it for entertainment...and killed himself everyday in the process.

The device can duplicate stuff right ? The most obvious thing is to duplicate $$$ !!!!!!! As a dumb cash-strapped scientist in the movie, he failed to literally make his own money. You can duplicate money, gold, diamonds, anything precious or valuable and he gave it away. He had to cheat Robert Angier for fundings and he couldn't think of it? I am totally stunned. Hey he is so broke that he have to provide his services to his host town for his lab electricity bills. With infinite cash, he can have his own nuclear plant to duplicate even more $$$ !!!!!!

He is a complete moron !!!!!!

Arrrgghhh Hollywood script writers are taking me as an idoit !!!!!! I want to be rich and rule the world ! Haaahaaa give me the remote or duplicating machine you dumbass !!!!!

... got carried away

Jia Khang the blur king

Do you read your bills ? I don't. And when i do, I do it because I have to. I just GIRO linked all my bills and make sure I got $$ to pay for them.

Andy, my Product Manager told me that my mobile claim was rejected because the accounts folks wants to see both pages of my mobile bill. You see, Singtel's mobile bills comes in 2 pages, printed on 2 sheets of paper.

Or I thought it still is, until this morning.

At 7.30am in the morning, 10 October, Tuesday, no matter how hard I try, I could not find the second piece of the bill which should have my second page of my bill. After digging through my 2004-2006 Singtel phone bill collection, I realised that I do not have the 2nd piece of my bill since 2006.

Until I saw the small print at the bottom of page 1,

Please turn over

Crap, they printed page 2 on the other side of the paper now. Ok, I know.

Sweet Revenge at Pizza Hut

Pizza Hut Dinner @ Thomson Plaza

It's 7th Oct 2006 Saturday, 7.30pm.

After my last lousy experience at Pizza Hut @ Ang Mo Kio, I gave the resturant chain another go at their Thomson Plaza outlet because we are giving our Siew Ling auntie and our lovely cousin a treat.

We ordered a triple chicken fiesta meal with a custom salad. While eating the pizza, we were told that the wrong pizza was sent to us, and we were given the correct triple chicken pizza on top of the 5/8 eaten pizza we have on our plates to make up on it.

Well, that's honest folks at pizza hut ! Honestly, none of us remembered what we had ordered anyway. Add a HSBC credit card discount and it's only $42 nett for a meal for 5. Cheap !

And the pizza is very good. Go get it if you haven't do so yet !

Boredom under the moon

6 Oct 2006, Mid-Autumn Festival Celebration Gathering

This will probably be the last TGPS gathering for this occasion, the 2nd year which we have this event. Many things didn't turn out well, and it's a disaster by any standards.

31 people informed.
16 responded.
6 turned up.

The ugly haze went from 40+ something PSI to 160+ PSI in the same night.
The sparklers didn't sparkle for more that 3 seconds.
People were simply too tired that day.

That's it folks, this is the last Mid-Autumn Festival gathering that I am organising.

Screwed Transcab Booking Experience

This is the most screwed taxi booking I have ever made so far, made to Transcab after a birthday dinner with my sisters.

I made a booking for a Transcab at Anguilia Park, Liat towers taxi stand. The booking was confirmed at about 9.45pm and I was told that the cab 5373 will reach in 5 minutes. I don't expect the cab to show up in 5 minutes but after 15 minutes of watching cabs from other taxi operators picking up customers who made taxi bookings after I did, I got pissed.

I am glad that I did, as the operator who took my call said that the cab 5373 did not manage find me at the taxi stand, and left after failing to speak to me on the phone. Hey ! That's new. I didn't even get a missed call or an incoming call on my phone and the operator claimed that the taxi driver tried to call me on the phone. I accepted his doubtful words and got another cab to come instead as it's useless to debate this point. The usual "The cab will be coming in 5 minutes" phrase was used, though it's really hard to achieve in practise. Maybe it's a dumb company policy to do so.

The next cab did show up in 10 minutes, which is reasonable. During conversation on the ride back home with the taxi uncle, he pointed out that the (Transcab) taxi drivers are not able to call customers as they do not have customer's numbers. To contact the customers, they have to do so through the operators. Well Comfort drivers are able to do so, but Transcab can't ?

This clearly shows several points of conflicts. Cab 5373 was supposed to be at the taxi stand, couldn't find me, made a call, failed to get through and left.

1. Cab 5373 did not came to the taxt stand at all.
2. The only Transcab that came around were carrying customers already, just passing through.
3. If cab 5373 is making a call while trying to locate me, I should have seen the cab.
4. If cab 5373 actually tried to make a call, I should have a incoming call or missed call.
5. The 2nd taxi driver claimed that drivers do not have customers' contacts, which conflicts with the words of the operator.
6. Even if the driver do not have the customers' contacts, they should have updated the operator to check the situation, but nobody did anything.

Come on, if you want to lie to me, at least come up with a better story. Either the operator messed up, the first driver screwed up, the operator and the first driver tried to play punk or both the drivers and the operators didn't tell the truth.

My experience with Comfort is positive compared to Transcab. When Comfort can't locate me, the driver can still call me up and make arrangements. Transcab ? Somebody(s) screwed up and everybody keep quiet. Very impressive.

[Deleted Transcab number from phone]